Friday, March 27, 2009

Take Time To Pay Attention

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
Evil loves darkness. I cannot express the absolute truth in all this for that darkness of evil lives in me. It lives in the dark recesses of my heart like a criminal waiting to spring an assault on a unsuspected victim not paying attention to the dark alley they are approaching. In this darkness, I tell myself, "God loves me anyway and will forgive me," but in the true light of this truth, I am blinded by the darkness of my evil heart. I am not paying attention to the night around me. I am submitting to a lie and I will face God in this because He does not want me believing this lie. I become a hypocrite.
God loves me and is willing to forgive me, not because of my performance or the fact I am good (which I am not), or just because I am part of His family of believers. He loves and has forgiven me knowing I am doing these things, true, BUT He does not condone this sin and will allow me to find out why I should not believe this lie. He is not going to take this sin from me, I must turn from this sin by coming to Him in true repentance (admitting my sin in desperation because I cannot cleanse this sin from my heart on my own). By His Grace I am saved in this true repentance like the Lost Son in Luke 15:

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
God wants me back and will run to greet me before I get to where I think home is. THAT IS THE GOD WHO LOVES ME!
Father God,
You are so merciful and loving. I do not deserve Your mercy or your grace, but because You are who You say You are, You do. Your Son, Jesus Christ died for ALL SIN, especially those hypocritical ones You hate that I have hidden within me because I refused to trust in the light of Your Truth. Thank You for forgiving me every time You have convicted me and have brought me back into Your arms when I have turned away from the sins in true repentance so You can continually grow me in Your love. Continue in this process of cleansing my heart to Your glory and for the sake of Your Son, Jesus so I will not continue to sin against You, Amen.



Tuesday, March 24, 2009

My Shack

10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
Lately I have been reading the book, The Shack, and it is really having an impact on my life. It is the story of a man whose family has experienced a tragic murder of their youngest child. Mack, the main character, is driven to return to the shack where his daughter was murdered to meet God in the Trinity so God can heal his heart. (A note to those who want to read The Shack: The book does not advocate that God is a woman, but the explanation of God revealing Himself as a woman is explained to Mack. Read it carefully.)
Although I have not experienced this tragedy, The Lord has taken me to my own Shack through this book for my own encounter with Him which is much different from the Psalm Prayer Blogs. Recently, I have received a short devotion from David Wilkerson:
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU...UNLESS!
Sadly, great numbers of Christians do not know God's voice. Some can go for months, even years, without ever receiving an intimate word from the Lord in their inner man. Oh, God did speak to them at one time. But over the years, they've learned to silence His voice in their hearts. Others have been turned off by so much foolishness among those who believe that every word that pops into their minds is divine Such people boast, "God told me"---yet the "word" they hear is only their covetous flesh taking voice.
If you want to know and hear God's voice in the days ahead, be ready to have Him speak of cleansing before He speaks of direction. Many Christians want God to tell them how to hold on to what they've earned, how to provide for their family, how to keep their business or career afloat. But the truth is, before God gives us a word of direction in any of these matters, He'll speak to us about His commands.
"These things I command you, that ye love one another" (John 15:17). God will first speak to you about your actions at home with your wife and children--- about your quick temper, your grudges, your unforgiving spirit. He'll point out every hidden, secret thing in your life---and He'll lovingly tell you, "I want to be your adviser, your counselor, your guide, your protector, your provider. I want to walk with you through every trial and hardship. And I want to favor, bless and keep you by my Spirit. But first, you have to get honest with me about the hidden idols in your heart. Right now your're holding on to them---but you must give them up! We simply can't walk together unless we agree on these matters of your heart!"
This is a harsh reality that needs to be faced in order that God may be able to reveal a clear picture of His direction for me. Dr. Charles Stanley always says, "Trust God and leave all the consequences to Him." I don't have to trust Him; I want to trust Him!

Adonai-Jehovah, Sovereign Lord,
This is what I need from You, therefore, I will continue to allow You to search my heart to be used for Your glory for I really want to walk with You on all matters of the heart. I know I have a long way to go, but I will go with You for You have given me everything. There is no life without You. I commit myself to let go of what You reveal to me, not so You will give me fleshly heart desires, but so I can have the servant's heart of Jesus. I want to glorify the name of Jesus, my Savior, Amen.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Where I am to where God wants me.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

There are times when I feel like I am drowning in the Sea of Forgetfulness instead of my sin. That is what I am going through right now. During and just after the revival, I felt like I was rising on the "wings of the dawn" and of the past few days I have feet of hardened clay and joints of rust. Settling "on the far side of the sea" sounds very pleasant right now. I am more tired than what I want to admit, but why? What am I doing that is exasperating these effects?
In the short time of the day that I am not at work, where do I spend my time?
>It isn't on my house (unless it is a necessity), for it shows. The job takes more out of me as each day passes of the five day work week. I just do not have the energy to buy the bacon and fry it up in a pan, then to show my husband how much he is a man. Am I an out-of-shape, slothful working-woman?
>It isn't on my writing, (except now on this blog) because there are projects waiting to rise again from the slush pile. At least I have one project waiting to rise in the hands of a publisher to be made alive by an illustrator.
I know I am tired and the aches come from exerting myself more at work yesterday along with the strong emotions of holding back outward grief of the death of a favorite resident and helping a family member to remove her mother's belongings. I know this is just a part of life in my maturity and the fact I am out-of-shape.
Does this mean I should stumble and stay in the depths of the sea thinking God has forgotten me? NOT THIS LITTLE RED HEN! I give up and allow the circumstance of life (stress, which is the
exasperation of my symptoms) to keep me down, I will die emotionally, mentally, eventually, spiritually, then physically.
I love it when "
I rise on the wings of the dawn," but it is easier when I actually feel that way. It takes more work, but I can feel that way no matter what my body tells me. The body aches can be treated with pain medication which will take care of my mental and emotional maintenance to continue on. The Lord has provided every source needed for my body, mind, and spirit to keep going so in the end I can reach that goal. He is teaching me my strengths and limitations so with the knowledge, I can use the imagination He has given me to meet goals in a better way.

El-Shaddai, God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People,
Thank You for the knowledge that has turned to wisdom within my heart that what I have learned may be shared with all who choose to read this blog. May their hearts be opened to Your heart desire for them that they too may
"rise on the wings of the dawn" and not grow tired. Let not stress enslave Your people to discouragement, but place their focus and faith on You and the sources You have already provided as a gift of Your love, in Jesus' name who relied on You only, Amen.







Monday, March 9, 2009

Not Giving Up

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

Father God,
Help me with this one for right now I am struggling with a decision. Help me to put together the words because my thoughts are jumbled. You want a commitment from me and that commitment is not quite clear right now so the first commitment to You starts from the beginning: I commit myself this day to You and what You want for whatever You are trying to say to me. Show me the obstacle I have set in front of this path in Jesus' name, Amen.

Recently, I found out a truth that hit pretty hard. I was deceived by some folks who said they liked my work and wanted to help me sale it. The excitement of hearing this really builds the esteem of a person which extends to those encouraging them. It is much like hearing the cheers from heaven! Unfortunately, the lie plummets all this excitement into the depths of despair like
sinking and drowning while taking others with you. You almost wish you never involved yourself in the venture making the temptation to give up quite pleasant.
But this is not what God has in mind. He lead me to go back to my author website "Why I Took Up Writing." This is only part of what I wrote (using my own words to convict me so to speak):

Then there is the many family members, friends, co-workers, and my agent driving me on, bugging me, praying for me, and ensuring I am fully committed in doing the work so they can get down to the business of reading the stories God has inspired me to write. They allow me to sometimes tantalize them with tidbits of the stories just for their feedback which helps me know if I should go ahead with that part of the project. They are the crowd of cheerleaders whose cheers ring in my ears as I pound out what God gives me and finish the race of completion for them. They love me, not because they think I will become famous, but because they believe in me.

What more can a writer want?

What more can a writer want? Recognition? Does not my statement already say I have it? To be famous? Isn't that worldly? I use my own words again from my home page:

I will be occasionally writing in this web site for you to read, but I do warn you, I am a Christian and I desire to glorify God with the gift of writing He has given me. I hope you will find this web site a blessing.

"I desire to glorify God with the gift of writing He has given me."

Father God, my Creator,

I got in the way again; no wonder my mind was jumbled! Like I just heard in Dr. Tony Evans' sermon on the radio, what I must do must be like popcorn, "a growing expansion of the inside to the outside." As I use my own words: This is the way I have decided to grow as a writer--Just grow and watch what happens.

I continue to commit this gift as Yours through me not to make me great, but to show Your greatness to others. Thank You for being there while I was walking in the clouds and when I sunk Twenty Leagues Under The Sea. Take this gift and make it Yours as I commit it back to You again, in Jesus' name who saved me for Your purpose, Amen.









Friday, March 6, 2009

Where Can I Go But To The Lord

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
It is amazing how amazing God has changed me from last year and a couple of years before to this year. He had to change my home life in order to change my opinion of who He is and what He can do.
A few years back, my life was school trying to get that education that will take me and my family into a better financial situation. Unfortunately, it took us into a worse situation we are trying to climb out of today.
During my second try in school and working at the same time,
the family, the transportation, and even the occupation along with the schooling came to a tragic halt. My world careened into hopeless desperation of holding onto something God was trying to tell me was all wrong for me. When I saw my family falling apart, I became angry and resentful of what God was doing when all along, I was the one who set myself up for our failure. I came to the idea that I had lost everything and that the only way out was to go backwards: Work my way back to a loving relationship with the Lord, my family, and return to that work I was trying to work my way out of. Today I can tell you the Medical Field can become an obsession instead of a career.
Back in 1991 when I came to the Lord in faith, He introduced me to writing, but I did not pursue it seriously for I did not think myself worthy. While trying to work and going to paramedic classes, He re-introduced me using the medical field as His format, but I still did not want to take the writing seriously thinking it was just another medical avenue. In 2008, He helped me understand there is a passion in what He has purposed me so this year, He is now teaching me I should hold on to what He guides me for He is my strength and I do not have to sacrifice anything that He has given me.
Passion has replaced obsession; life sacrifice replaced by self sacrifice to God's good. Deep down, I wanted to save lives through an avenue I thought the way to save lives (nothing wrong with that), but I was running away from God's way of saving lives for me; ie. what He purposed me to save lives.

Learn from my experience those of you trying to pursue what you think your purpose, especially you who love the Lord. You can tell if your pursuit is more important than God when it is all you think or talk about; ie, your life's worth. It is cardinal and worldly. It will take everything God has given you as a blessing. (Notice I call self pursuit, "It.") Turn around, return to your first love, Jesus Christ, who saved your life from sin, and allow Him to lead you to that pursuit that is bigger than yourself and all about Him, instead of you.

Heavenly Father, my Creator,
Thank You for saving me AGAIN from myself by taking me from my own pursuit (due to being deceived) to what You planned before my conception. Thank You for loving me when I was running from Your purpose, when I blamed You for my life falling apart, and when I stubbornly tried to hold on to that which was leading me back into the sin of the world (even though it was something good). Thank You for bringing back to a loving relationship with You placing YOUR passion in me replacing my obsessions. Thank You for running after me while I ran proclaiming I loved You. You ran after a hypocrite and I am grateful You did not leave me alone to continue to pursue my death. I commit myself to pursue only those things that are of YOU. I want to stay dependent upon You, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sweet Conviction

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
I just learned the truth about some people I thought were interested in my children's story, but were only interested in my money in the publishing world. As I write this, I am still kind of achy from the blow, but I am keeping my heart open to the Lord for healing and guidance. I will not blame God for leading me to writing or publishing, but thank Him for sending me the truth through a wonderful Christian sister who is also a writer. She is a wonderful blessing!
God will do this for He knows all things, ie. Omniscient. He knows me so well He guided me to a writers' prayer group who prays and advices me in His new thing. He uses them to be a spiritual life-line, ie. God's vine for this talent. I am most grateful for they are a blessing. They help me remain in His strong arm. (Refer back to the blog message before this one.)

Father God,
Everything You do is good for You are Good. I have nothing good in me, but You. You are too wonderful, too lofty for me yet You look at me as one of Your very own. I may run ahead of You not waiting for Your guidance and instruction because of my impatience, but You work ahead of me anyway setting things up to protect me and to fall into the protection of Your arms AGAIN. I shudder where I would be if I ignored or blamed You again. I love You, Daddy! Thank You! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Created in Protection

5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

This is what the verse says in the Contemporary English Translation:

5and with your powerful arm you protect me from every side.
To those of us with a strong man who loves us know, that when that man places his arm around you, you feel the strength and the security of having that arm around you. There is no need to fear anything or anyone harming you. What a good feeling!
Along with that strong arm comes the knowledge, not only at a time of danger, but of preventing dangerous situations. A protective, strong arm will not take you into a dark alley where danger may lurk, but keep you in a place where you will less likely to face danger. Basically, the protective, strong arm has a brain and uses it. Now am I going to do something so dumb as to leave the protection of that strong, protective arm? Not this little, red hen!
God Almighty is very protective of His children, but we have to remain within His protection by not straying off, lead away by the temptation of our self-desires. And how do we do this?
>Remain in church fellowship with other believers: This is probably one of the biggest ways of straying. Don't let any excuse come into mind about leaving your church unless they stop teaching the Bible (and I don't mean your interpretation of the Bible).
>Remain in the Word of God: How else are you going to be able to test and approve the message delivered is from the Word of God, the Bible?
>Remain in constant communication with God through prayer: If you stop talking with Him, how will He stay in communication with you? Remember, prayer is a two way communication along with studying your Bible. You pray to the Lord and listen to Him.
>Remain in constant communication with the mature Christian mentor God has entrusted to lead you: If you do not have a mature Christian to mentor you, ask the Lord to send you someone. This person will pray for you, listen to you, encourage you, and gently guide by pointing you always to the Lord for answers in life's difficulties. He will use this person to grow you in your Christian walk. I have had and now have wonderful Christian mentors who have prayed me to the maturity I have today and I do not want to think where I would be if it were not for them. They are such blessings!
>Remain sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit: I cannot stress more the absolute importance of this last piece of advice. Sometimes the Lord uses His Spirit to warn you of impending danger, like an alarm going off inside your head. Life is not like a horror movie where there is a strange silence or music warning you of danger. Danger strikes suddenly. Much like my husband use to say, "When you least expect it, expect it," that is how danger comes upon us. God sees all that goes on way before we are involved, so when He leads you to do something or go somewhere you do not plan (or not), just obey! It may just save your life!

Father God, my Protector,
I commit myself to follow my own advice and remain in Your protection. You have shown me time and time again how You have protected me from danger, not having any idea danger was lurking and waiting for me to fall into it's grasp. Thank you for this love you have for me that You have also seen fit to teach me how to prevent stepping into danger by using the brain You created for me to learn. I would much rather look foolish in Your protection than to be foolish outside of Your protection. Thank you in Jesus' name, Amen.