Where Can I Go But To The Lord

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
It is amazing how amazing God has changed me from last year and a couple of years before to this year. He had to change my home life in order to change my opinion of who He is and what He can do.
A few years back, my life was school trying to get that education that will take me and my family into a better financial situation. Unfortunately, it took us into a worse situation we are trying to climb out of today.
During my second try in school and working at the same time,
the family, the transportation, and even the occupation along with the schooling came to a tragic halt. My world careened into hopeless desperation of holding onto something God was trying to tell me was all wrong for me. When I saw my family falling apart, I became angry and resentful of what God was doing when all along, I was the one who set myself up for our failure. I came to the idea that I had lost everything and that the only way out was to go backwards: Work my way back to a loving relationship with the Lord, my family, and return to that work I was trying to work my way out of. Today I can tell you the Medical Field can become an obsession instead of a career.
Back in 1991 when I came to the Lord in faith, He introduced me to writing, but I did not pursue it seriously for I did not think myself worthy. While trying to work and going to paramedic classes, He re-introduced me using the medical field as His format, but I still did not want to take the writing seriously thinking it was just another medical avenue. In 2008, He helped me understand there is a passion in what He has purposed me so this year, He is now teaching me I should hold on to what He guides me for He is my strength and I do not have to sacrifice anything that He has given me.
Passion has replaced obsession; life sacrifice replaced by self sacrifice to God's good. Deep down, I wanted to save lives through an avenue I thought the way to save lives (nothing wrong with that), but I was running away from God's way of saving lives for me; ie. what He purposed me to save lives.

Learn from my experience those of you trying to pursue what you think your purpose, especially you who love the Lord. You can tell if your pursuit is more important than God when it is all you think or talk about; ie, your life's worth. It is cardinal and worldly. It will take everything God has given you as a blessing. (Notice I call self pursuit, "It.") Turn around, return to your first love, Jesus Christ, who saved your life from sin, and allow Him to lead you to that pursuit that is bigger than yourself and all about Him, instead of you.

Heavenly Father, my Creator,
Thank You for saving me AGAIN from myself by taking me from my own pursuit (due to being deceived) to what You planned before my conception. Thank You for loving me when I was running from Your purpose, when I blamed You for my life falling apart, and when I stubbornly tried to hold on to that which was leading me back into the sin of the world (even though it was something good). Thank You for bringing back to a loving relationship with You placing YOUR passion in me replacing my obsessions. Thank You for running after me while I ran proclaiming I loved You. You ran after a hypocrite and I am grateful You did not leave me alone to continue to pursue my death. I commit myself to pursue only those things that are of YOU. I want to stay dependent upon You, in Jesus' name, Amen.