Take Time To Pay Attention

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
Evil loves darkness. I cannot express the absolute truth in all this for that darkness of evil lives in me. It lives in the dark recesses of my heart like a criminal waiting to spring an assault on a unsuspected victim not paying attention to the dark alley they are approaching. In this darkness, I tell myself, "God loves me anyway and will forgive me," but in the true light of this truth, I am blinded by the darkness of my evil heart. I am not paying attention to the night around me. I am submitting to a lie and I will face God in this because He does not want me believing this lie. I become a hypocrite.
God loves me and is willing to forgive me, not because of my performance or the fact I am good (which I am not), or just because I am part of His family of believers. He loves and has forgiven me knowing I am doing these things, true, BUT He does not condone this sin and will allow me to find out why I should not believe this lie. He is not going to take this sin from me, I must turn from this sin by coming to Him in true repentance (admitting my sin in desperation because I cannot cleanse this sin from my heart on my own). By His Grace I am saved in this true repentance like the Lost Son in Luke 15:
¹⁷"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' ²⁰So he got up and went to his father.
God wants me back and will run to greet me before I get to where I think home is. THAT IS THE GOD WHO LOVES ME!
Father God,
You are so merciful and loving. I do not deserve Your mercy or your grace, but because You are who You say You are, You do. Your Son, Jesus Christ died for ALL SIN, especially those hypocritical ones You hate that I have hidden within me because I refused to trust in the light of Your Truth. Thank You for forgiving me every time You have convicted me and have brought me back into Your arms when I have turned away from the sins in true repentance so You can continually grow me in Your love. Continue in this process of cleansing my heart to Your glory and for the sake of Your Son, Jesus so I will not continue to sin against You, Amen.