Friday, March 20, 2009

Where I am to where God wants me.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

There are times when I feel like I am drowning in the Sea of Forgetfulness instead of my sin. That is what I am going through right now. During and just after the revival, I felt like I was rising on the "wings of the dawn" and of the past few days I have feet of hardened clay and joints of rust. Settling "on the far side of the sea" sounds very pleasant right now. I am more tired than what I want to admit, but why? What am I doing that is exasperating these effects?
In the short time of the day that I am not at work, where do I spend my time?
>It isn't on my house (unless it is a necessity), for it shows. The job takes more out of me as each day passes of the five day work week. I just do not have the energy to buy the bacon and fry it up in a pan, then to show my husband how much he is a man. Am I an out-of-shape, slothful working-woman?
>It isn't on my writing, (except now on this blog) because there are projects waiting to rise again from the slush pile. At least I have one project waiting to rise in the hands of a publisher to be made alive by an illustrator.
I know I am tired and the aches come from exerting myself more at work yesterday along with the strong emotions of holding back outward grief of the death of a favorite resident and helping a family member to remove her mother's belongings. I know this is just a part of life in my maturity and the fact I am out-of-shape.
Does this mean I should stumble and stay in the depths of the sea thinking God has forgotten me? NOT THIS LITTLE RED HEN! I give up and allow the circumstance of life (stress, which is the
exasperation of my symptoms) to keep me down, I will die emotionally, mentally, eventually, spiritually, then physically.
I love it when "
I rise on the wings of the dawn," but it is easier when I actually feel that way. It takes more work, but I can feel that way no matter what my body tells me. The body aches can be treated with pain medication which will take care of my mental and emotional maintenance to continue on. The Lord has provided every source needed for my body, mind, and spirit to keep going so in the end I can reach that goal. He is teaching me my strengths and limitations so with the knowledge, I can use the imagination He has given me to meet goals in a better way.

El-Shaddai, God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People,
Thank You for the knowledge that has turned to wisdom within my heart that what I have learned may be shared with all who choose to read this blog. May their hearts be opened to Your heart desire for them that they too may
"rise on the wings of the dawn" and not grow tired. Let not stress enslave Your people to discouragement, but place their focus and faith on You and the sources You have already provided as a gift of Your love, in Jesus' name who relied on You only, Amen.

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